pre-exam nerves (cured by listening to Mr Dialysis and camomile tea)

Its like little butterflies in my stomach. I don't have enough time to learn the whole course or do anything REALLY productive but theres enough time for me to sit in my room, stare at all the posters and notes I've made and scream inside.
Mum, dad and Chesca came for a quick visit to take me out for a meal (and get my mind off revision). I'd texted mum yesterday, slightly hysterical, and told her that I REALLY wanted to talk. We spoke for 2 hours and dad later rang to say that they were coming up for a while. We went to a pub in Wovercote and ate a sunday roast which was lovely and REALLY FILLING. I was then able to chat with Chesca for a while which made me feel so much better. Talking to her makes me feel so much more grounded...
I know what my problem is. I'm not used to average. I don't want to be average and have always strived to be better than that. However, for the first time in a LONG time, I'm in a place where being more than average is HARD. I'm surrounded by other people who arll want the same thing. In fact, its the reason we're all here - we don't DO average. For the first time in my life I may just have to settle with being average and be PROUD of that because being average has never been so hard to achieve.

Why I love what I do

Woke up feeling emo about revision, exams etc etc etc. I had stupidly set me alarm for 8:20 and actually thought I'd be ABLE to get up at that time. ha. woke up around 9ish and found Alice, Amelia and Marja. We sat in the hallway outside Alice's room and reminisced about all the fun times we'd had there....dying Marja's hair, watching as drunk Marja slumped on the stairs and claimed to be a caterpillar, the time we woke Amelia up (on her birthday) singing Happy Birthday while Alice played the saxophone (Amelia later said that she thought there'd be a car crash outside her window..), taking the picture before the rubix cube night on fresher's week...
We all felt sad that the year was ending in such a way. People were all just slowly heading home and trickling away.
Decided to take a walk to the Botanic Gardens to clear my head. I took my camera and began being all artsy with a row of lettuces. Some German guys behind me (with the most amazing camera) were watching and talking behind me. As I walked away, they began taking exactly the same shots! I kept on walking and just smiled to myself - I love life! I also went to the hot houses and overheard a Spanish family telling their young daughter about all the plants there...I LOVE the sound of Spanish ^_^. Afterwards, I went along the the charity shop for a browse adn later to Tesco's. Then went back to college and found Amelia. We walked over to the chapel and I offered to get her carnation (I picked the one she wanted - woot!). Later felt depressed and mum called so we chatted for AGES and she made me feel loads better. Then Alice came round (who was feeling just as depressed) and we moaned and then went to buy some cake at Sainsbury's. Had a relaxed revision session eatsing cake, listening to classical fm and watching the rain outside my window. The world felt good again.
In the evening we helped Amelia load stuff into her car and said goodbye. Anna Powell rang in the evening and I was SOOO pleased to hear from her. Seeing everyone go made me so depressed that it was nice to ehar from someone at home...I can't wait to go back. I just want these exams to be over.

*sigh*

Everyone is slowly leaving Oxford after finishing their exams. I didn't want the year to end like this! I wish it could end reflecting first year...there are soo many happy memories that its sad to not celebrate them together!

CAKE!

After revision, went to Felicity's for a HUGE cake, strawberries, brownies, hot chocolate and other amazing foods. We watched Sliding Doors too and I impressed everyone with the fact that I had firgured out how to use the self-timer on my camera - woot!

Port Meadow Bonfire

Cycled with Alice to port meadow for a break from revision and also to calm my nerves. I'd been revising birds all day and it hadn't gone too bad. In fact, i was quite happy as I'd found an article on BBC news about a new fossil (hopefuly I'll be able to fit it into my exam for extra nerd points!). We cycled into the nature reserve as it turned to dusk and through the waist-high grass. I managed to get some good pictures of these silhouetted against the evening sky. We got slightly lost but managed to find ourselves back on the usual path. We then came across a Canadian guy playing a guitar by what looked like the beginnings of a bonfire. He was then joined by an American girl. Thr guy was called john and I don't remember the girl's name. We decidede to stay a while and help them get wood etc as Ben might also turn up. John told us that he has a girlfriend in Oxford and is living here to stay with her. The girl had just finished a term here and was from a Uni. in Washington. We helped her get more wood and burnt her essays to start the fire (it felt soooo good to crumple and burn work!). As it got darker more people joined and this was followed by the usual music and drinks. Alice and I then cycled back (smelling distinctly of woodsmoke) to Hertford feelign refreshed and ready to tackle to nedxt day's work.

Trashing the Physicists

Ok, so Talia thought it was "thrashing" but Alice, Talia and I got glitter to trash Sam and the other physicists as they came out of their exams in Summertown. We also brought along the spaghetti to "thrash" them with! I now know where my exams will be held and where I might live in Oxford next year -eep

blue sky and white clouds

Revision. Beautiful day. The sky was a clear bright blue in the morning with huge white clouds streaking the sky. In the afternoon the skies darkened and it pelted down with rain and hail. So much so that I had to ask Tom to close my window as the hail was coming into my room ad hitting me! Saw Oli W today to get my essays back from him. Tom's sister, Rebecca, is staying for a few days (he's so lucky to have finished exams...). Also went shopping for a while with Sarah.
In the evening Alice and I made a good luck card for Amelia and gave her one of the lanterns we'd nicked from Keble Ball.