Its like little butterflies in my stomach. I don't have enough time to learn the whole course or do anything REALLY productive but theres enough time for me to sit in my room, stare at all the posters and notes I've made and scream inside.
Mum, dad and Chesca came for a quick visit to take me out for a meal (and get my mind off revision). I'd texted mum yesterday, slightly hysterical, and told her that I REALLY wanted to talk. We spoke for 2 hours and dad later rang to say that they were coming up for a while. We went to a pub in Wovercote and ate a sunday roast which was lovely and REALLY FILLING. I was then able to chat with Chesca for a while which made me feel so much better. Talking to her makes me feel so much more grounded...
I know what my problem is. I'm not used to average. I don't want to be average and have always strived to be better than that. However, for the first time in a LONG time, I'm in a place where being more than average is HARD. I'm surrounded by other people who arll want the same thing. In fact, its the reason we're all here - we don't DO average. For the first time in my life I may just have to settle with being average and be PROUD of that because being average has never been so hard to achieve.
