Hertford Christmas Party

Finally, my last essay of the term is complete. This afternoon I went to the chapel and helped set up the Christmas decorations with the other Hertford students. We decorated the trees with silver, baubles and fairy lights, twisted gold and silver tinsel around the wooden pillars and hung glittered snowflake around the walls. This was all done while drinking the first mulled wine and mince pies of the year. In the evening we all got ready for the Christmas party and Amelia did all our make-up. Alice was a snowball (with cut-out snowflakes selotaped to her white outfit), Amelia was a cat, I was an angel and Tom....? .....was a .....er....I don't really know....
We went down to the packed bar before heading out with the rest of the college to Po Na Na for another fantastic night of cheesy music and dancing.

Japan

Ok, so this isn't my photo - it was taken a couple of days ago by one of my friends from KG when she went to visit some garderns in Japan. Looking through them has made me want to visit the country more than anything else in the world. I have to go! I don't know why but I know that If I don't visit I will be missing out on an amazing experience so different from anything here in England or even Europe for that matter. There is a chance that I may be able to go during the Easter vacation with the Hertford exchange group. It would only be 10 days or so but I'm sure it's just enough to stop my craving.....

The Covered Market

Woke up this morning with the need to listen to “Fidelity” by Regina Spektor. I have always blamed this song for making me feel anxious during my AS level Chemistry exam and the subsequent disaster. However, this morning I knew that I just HAD to listen it and the rest of my day has been filled with her voice.
I cycled into Oxford to buy mum's birthday present. I wandered through the streets in the vague direction of the covered market via Past Times where the shop assistant was being told off by an old lady for having music playing in the background. I hope to never be old and grumpy. I want to be like Abu and smile at the neighbour's Israeli bodyguards as they do their morning jog past my house.
Anyway, the covered market was packed with people and I just about managed to take some quick pictures of the mistletoe strung between the florist's and delicatessen, the English lavender piled in thick bunched on wooden shelves (if only I could smell it!), branches with bright red berries twisted into wreaths and the venison and game hung outside the butcher’s. My favourite delicatessen had the amaretto biscuits spilling piled in the window below a shelf of Lindt chocolates. I love those biscuits as they remind me of sitting with my family curled up on the sofa with the fire crackling away. We always ate them when we had guests for tea and sometimes dad would do this trick where he'd curl up the paper into a role and light the bottom. The paper would float up into the air for a few seconds before slowly drifting back down when the flames stopped.
It took me forever to find a present for mum. I want to get her something she'll love, something that’s worthy and shows just how much I love her. I ended up in aspire and bought a cute hot water bottle with a Scotty dog and bow - to keep her warm when Fudge decides to be grumpy.... However, I'm not sure if this is what I was looking for.

Thank God, Friday.

I detest being ill. My head feels all heavy and headachy, my nose is blocked and my throat sore. I got it from Jeremy after sitting next to him in lectures when he was ill.Hopefuly it will go away soon so I can get on with my life. I was thinking of going to London on Sunday as a surprise before mum's birthday. Chesca and I thought it'd be nice to eat at Tas as a family.

The day they cancelled the race

Made a salad and took this pic of red onion skin I used. I love it's fragility...

Christ Church and Jess' 21st

and Christ Church Regatta in at midday. Finally, I was able to compete in an Oxford boat race! It was freezing out on the river and the sky was overcast. We were up against Exeter's A novices and one of team couldn't make it as she had to go to the embassy. As a result, one of the mixed crew was put the replace her and we realised this might be a problem as soon as we set off from the boat house. The boat was very unbalanced and the new novice couldn't even feather her blade on the water, keep in time or feather during the stroke. We were in trouble. As soon as the race started it began to rain and Exeter was way in the lead. The boat tipped and slowly made its way up the river against the strong current which has picked up pace since last saturday. They beat us by a long shot and were extremely skilled. We were alla little disheartened but still happy to have the glory on Nemphis in our minds. There was also the recharge to look forward to tomorrow where the boats the lose get a second chance.
In the late evening Amelia did my make-up and hair so I felt like a princess for the party. I cycled down to Hertford and dropped off my bike before running into the biochemist Chris Anderton who had come for the weekend for his graduation ceremony. We walked together and he dropped me off at the club - it was great to see him. The party was beautiful with jazz music and various Hertford people packing out the room, Jeremy and his boyfriend Jerard were also there as Jeremy knows Jess from school. I say Leila who told me that the whole of Christ Church had been cancelled dueto the awful weather which was unsuitable for novices. This wasn't too bad a news as the conditions had been bitter earlier on. Anywaym, we danced drank lots of wine and cocktails. Before long I was feeling a bit tipsy but met this really sweet guy called Jacob. We chatted for ages and danced together until the end of the night.

Where I live now

This year I've felt that Oxford is my home. I live here among the spires and wierd traditions. It makes me proud.

Rainy Monday

Just about finished the first draft of this week's essay. It’s just a bit past midnight but I'm sure this counts as my photo for today/ yesterday! I found two of my favourite pieces of music on youtube as well as a video by Carla Bruni for L'Amoureuse. They've kept me going for the past 4 hours I've been working consecutively....
Gnossiennes No. 1 - Erik Satie
Comptine d'un autre été - Yann Tiersen
Theres something about these two pieces that gives you a soft uplifting feeling, almost like a secret smile. I want the Gnossienne to be louder, bolder, faster but its that feeling of straining to catch every perfect note that makes me love it. The way in which your heart elevates as the notes reach a creshendo and slowly tumble back down.
Then theres the Comptine d'un autre été which is so simple and cute. It reminds me of a spring shower - when the rain is really heavy but warm. The notes fall like fat drops into a puddle and then gradually fade away. The piece stops and I'm left slightly sad that the moment was so beautiful and brief.

Its been raining most of the day (I love that sound as it whips against my window but I'm all dry and warm, curled up in my duvet) but stopped a few hours ago. I want to watch a film - The Painted Veil perhaps?

those three words

Had another outing today, not as fun as yesterday though. It was freezing and very rainy. We were all soaked by the end but happy as Tom, our coach for today, seemed very pleased with our progress. This morning Alice and I made pancakes for breakfast which were are my ideal brunch food. Later, during a break from work, I had some green tea and sat by the window of my room. As I removed the tea bag from the mug it made this heart appear on my window. Tom said he may have drawn it ages ago. I had also seen it this morning as I drew my curtains open. It fits in well with today.

Nemphis Regatta

Today was the day of the Nemphis regatta. Its not as big as Christ Church, which is this weekend, but still important all the same. I met the rest of the crew at the boat house and we had a brief meeting with our coach. He wasn't too happy to hear that we hadn't rowed as an all eight before, had never done racing starts or feathered our blades and had never rowed together either. Hm. It was very encouraging to see him rush off to phone Sarah and ask why the hell we'd been entered. However, in the end, they decided to just see what happened. We had a quick 10 mind warm-up on the ergs and it was then out onto the river. As we rowed past the gut Joe, our Cox, tried to get us to practice rowing all eight. It wasn't too bad, a bit splashy, but all the same pretty good considering the circumstances.
Our first race was against St.John's B novice crew - we were all pretty nervous but as soon as the race started just concentrated on doing our best. About half way through I could feel myself getting sick. My stomach was all knotted as if I was about to throw up. However, we gave it our all and it was a brilliant feeling to just be concentrating on those crucial milliseconds as your blade reaches and pushes through the water. From the corner of my eye I was aware that we were neck-and-neck with the other crew and somewhere up ahead was the finish line. We made it and everyone assumed that we'd lost. However, it turns out that we'd won by a bow-ball - amazing! It was such a close race but we were all over the moon to have won it - our very first outing as a team was a success!
However, we didn't get to celebrate too long as it meant that we had to go through to the next round - against Trinity A team. Arg! We all ate some malt bread (they were sponsoring the race) and got back into the boat. By this time it was getting cold, windy and a bit rainy so this only added to the creeping exhaustion. My hands hurt and I could already see blisters forming. This race was not as dramatic - Trinity won by a whole boat but we still powered through. To be honest, we're all just delighted to have won our first ever race against a better team. I guess it shows all the potential we have and, if all goes to plan, Christ Church will certainly be as exciting if not more as today!

The day Alice and I went to formal hall at LMH

After another long Saturday Alice and I had a delicious meal with Liz and her friends at their college, Lady Margaret Hall. Thats another one off the list... another twenty something to go! We ate roast vegetables with green pesto and bread for starters, roast duck for main and vanilla panacotta for pudding all with a nice glass of rose - yum!

You, me,

(and your guitar)
I found this book on the free table in zoology - I had to bring it back for Alice and Amelia. We have to go travelling sometime..

Today I realised that this is not how I feel. I was cycling down Banbury road, on my way home from lectures and was just really content. It was a bright crisp day and I just felt so content with all the different things I'm doing asides from my work. While I sped down the cycle lane I realised, "I do not need to be in love to be happy".

Bubblsh

Pinned this to Alice's door as a thanks for letting me borrow her shampoo and shower cap (not both at once..).

Henna

Ok, so I should technically be doing the reading for my essay but yet again find myself uploading the picture for today. This was taken of Amelia after Alice and I covered her feet and hands in Henna. It gets addictive, honest, and we spent about 3 hours completing it while chatting like the old times. It looks really striking against her pale skin, almost like some kind of weird tribal tattoos...
Later I made Mexican burritos with the help of Alice. Mum would be proud - there was chicken, Mexican-style rice, home-made guacamole, pico de gallo, tortilla chips and beans to fill the wraps. I was quite pleased that I managed to pull it off and even got a culinary compliment from Amelia! Proudness indeed :D

Where I meditate

I woke up at 1, having had the best night's sleep in a very long time. Everyone was out and I wanted to enjoy the most of the sunshine that was coming through the curtains of my room. So I took my bike and camera and cycled down the canal path to Port Meadow. Before reaching the path there is a row of Victorian-looking workers houses very similar to those found in the north. They're packed together along the curved street with different coloured front doors leading right out to the pavement. All the roofs are aligned and, although each house is the same shape and size, they all look individual and bright. The houses opposite the canal tow-path are very different and have gardens leading right down to the water. Some had dingy boats or punts moored alongside the riverbank and treehouses overlooking the water. Living out of the center of town has really helped me appreciate all the quirks that make Oxford such a unique place to be. It seems that around every corner is something intersting and different - I hope that I don't let any of it pass me by.
The meadow was a striking as I had imagined this morning. There were families and people walking there dogs so it was quite busy. However, the magic of this place is that it makes you feel asif you are the only one who knows about it. For a moment, I stopped to look out across the expanse and felt asif I was the last person on this planet. It was not a notion of melancholy loneliness but more of clarity and happiness. Being alone isn't necesarily a bad thing as it gives you time to reflect.

The Diwali Ball

Today was the day of the long-awaited Diwali Ball organised by HUMsoc. We didn't go last year but had all promise Chandni (who is now co-president of the society) that we'd go this year and make it extra-special.
On arriving to the Kassam Stadium in Oxford we had a non-alcoholic drinks reception with rose and mango flavoured Lassis, orange, lychee and mango juice. Here I saw Bhanvini, Rima and Hasina from Twyford and they were just as shocked to see me and I was to see them! Everyone from Oxford was there too including Marja who looked stunning in a red dress (as usual) and Mel from Biology. It was great to wander around and see so many familiar faces. Chandni also looked beautiful in a cream and gold sari which matched with her co-president’s outfit. After the drinks we all went upstairs to the stadium's dining hall and had an exquisite three-course meal which left us all very full. This was accompanied by some music, dancers, comedians and entertainers. After the meal we all went outside to see the beautiful fireworks display marking the festival of light. It was very impressive and you could hear the crowd oohing and ahing in appreciation. The display was followed by the opening of the Humsoc bazaar which included a chocolate fountain, more Indian finger food, sweets, Henna artists and a masseur - we were very spoilt! We spent the rest of the night and early morning eating, dancing and getting henna painted on our hands. As it was a non-alcoholic event it was really nice to truly enjoy the evening with everyone.

Tough day

3 lectures, 3 hours of labs and a cells class on Gibb's free energy. oh dear. Today was pretty hectic and it was pouring as I cycled home. My head hurts. (I would like to point out that the fact thats It's Friday 13th has nothing to do with this !).

The day it rained and my mudgard decided to be useless

It was quite depressing to realise, half way through the day, that although it was incredibly sunny and glorious I would not be able to appreciate the un-characteristically warm weather. I am right slap-bang in the middle of my week of doom - 9 lectures, 1 tute, 1 computer lab, 9 hours labs, and 1 1/2 hours cells class all crammed into the space of 4 days. Tomorrow is the mother of all days - 9-6:30pm straight with a break for lunch among the lectures, 3 hour lab and cells class. Oh dear. I'm actually quite looking forward to it as I'm really enjoying this year. Ok, its not like I would voluntarily ASK to do a day like tomorrow but I always that its important to make do with what you have and try your best to turn a potentially bad situation into something good. I've just finished as much as possible of my cells problem sheet. I hope its not too bad. As always, Albert’s saved the day. It truly is the Bible of Cell Biology... On the plus side, I've been indoors for most of the time it was raining :) Here is a picture I took in Amelia's room as we admired all her costume jewellery. That’s my new word for today, before then I didn't really know what it meant. I love jewellery and will ensure that I wear something extra-pretty tomorrow.

A note on courage

"It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."

I was stalked by a ladybird

It hitched a ride on my laptop so, as I started to work in the RSL, I noticed the little bug crawling over the ethernet cable. It was raining outside and I couldn't be bothered to work. Talia and I marvelled at the resistance of something so small to hold onto my laptop for dear life. It continued to rain and we went for lunch at Hertford, I had to move my bag from the bench as it was boiling and would have frazzled my work. I saw Amelia and Alice before rushing off to the library to have a crack at my problem sheet for the week. I saw James. Talia and I had a break and walked around Oxford in the cold drizzly weather. We came back and, as I sat down, I noticed the same small red ladybird happily clambering over my laptop, completely unfazed by the days events.

I wrote this letter to you

I found this ladybird circling the rim of my glass of water as I finished writing. Its so cold outside I thought they'd all be dead.

small steps

I had coffee with Anna Powell today and it was as if neither of us had left Ealing. Someone once said thats the sign of a good friend - someone who, no matter how long you've been apart, you can still talk to as if you'd seen them only last week.
We ate dinner as a family this evening and I managed to get everyone together for a photo before I left. Being home gave me such a clearer and calmer perspective on life that I know it will be alright. The majority of University life seems to be learning how to cope with situations and face the consequences of your decision; your degree is only a tedious task done along the way.

home.

I love to travel. I love to travel when I know my destination so as I arrive I begin to recognise the different buildings. But most of all I love to travel when I know that there is atleast one person there who is waiting for me, anticipating my arrival and can't wait to see me as much as I them. Returning home had that very same feeling and, although it was freezing and I was tired, the sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky making even the bus stop at Hillingdon seem like a welcoming rest from the insular life at Oxford. I'm finally home.
Mum came to pick me up in the car and we hugged and listened to her and Chesca's new music love - Vampire Weekend. We met Chesca in Cafe Chai in Ealing before she started work and wondered around the shops including the new H&M they've opened. Once back home mum showed me these shoes which she and dad had found when they'd moved their bed to make way for the new one. They're my first pair of shoes. How funny it is to think about all the different times I wore these (19 years ago?!) and then how much I've grown since then. Sometimes I do wish life were as simple as when I was a child but then I'd never be able to look back and appreciate all the steps I've taken to become who I am today.

I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home.

Major writer's block. Not good. I REALLY want to go home today but just thinking about going puts me off this essay...It's really interesting, don't get me wrong, I just can't seem to put the right words down for it. Maybe I should just eat another extremely chocolatey white chocolate M&S round...

Tom makes an ugly girl....

Really stressful day today with lectures until 1, a tute at 2-3 and then an essay due in for tomorrow which I totally didn't feel prepared for (I emailed my tutor to see if I could get an extension..). Got to the point that I almost burst into tears whenever I spoke to anyone. 4th week blues indeed.

I remember a time when it all used to be so simple.

A learning curve

Who ate all the jam?

Ok, so slightly anal, but someone ate all my raspberry jam and I really wanted to eat it with warm porridge for breakfast this morning. Its not so much the fact that they ate it (well, it is) but now I feel as if I should keep all my food under lock and key....damn students.
Managed to tick off "attend another subject's lecture" from my list of things to do before leaving Oxford. Went to the Exam School with Alice and sat with the Historians to hear Gabriel's lecture on Scotland. Very interesting and no slide shows in sight!

Lets cure this hangover..

Gah. Urgh. Woke up today in Sarah's bed slightly confused and disorientated. It was LASHING it down outside and the wind whipped the rain against the window. We staggered, after ages just sitting wrapped up in the duvet, to Marja's room where Manasi had crashed last night. Felicity joined us and we sat in Marja's bed a bit like the Von Trap family in the sound of music - you'd think we were about to start singing! Later went over the grad centre where we met up with Oli and Qu in the kitchen. Felicity made us all an INCREDIBLY AMAZING brunch whith scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms, beans, sausages - just what we all needed to cure the hangovers from last night. I don't think I'll have to eat for the rest of the week!
I've done no work today but'll later be going with Alice to Halloween Formal Hall. We both can't be bothered but signed up along with the other RAs. Atleast its stopped raining plus I've got a mug of hot lemonade, some strawberries and grapes to make me feel less the-night-after disgusting...