Today was a day of realisation. Looked at a few blogs Chesca loves and later spoke with Amelia on facebook. I feel as if we're on the same page. This whole year I've felt that I am becoming this person I do not like. I couldn't put my finger on what was bothering me so much about this person but now I see it. I was not working for the right reasons. I've been stuck into this mindset of working solely to get good grades and rewards. However, I've seen that I should be doing what I do because it makes me feel happy and fulfilled.
After reading my grades online I wanted to quit Oxford. I though of dropping out and re-taking this year. The old haunting idea that I "should've done Geography" crept back for a while. I'm so glad I didn't. I'm so glad I won't. Looking back though this blog has helped me to put everything into perspective. I could never leave the brilliant friends I have made here. Taking a picture each day has made me appreaciate every moment, every breath. The invaluable lessons I have learnt this year cannot be tested or proven by any exam. I have seen the consequences of hiding the person I feared, pretending that wasn't me at all. By doing so I have become someone I am not. Worst of all, I was scared of shining and by doing this I have repressed an amazing person.
